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The Good Mother Myth

Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom

Audiobook
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 22 weeks
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 22 weeks

Timely and thought-provoking, Nancy Reddy unpacks and debunks the bad ideas that have for too long defined what it means to be a "good" mom.

When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong?
For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting. It seems ludicrous to imagine modern moms taking advice from midcentury researchers. Yet, their bad ideas about so-called "good" motherhood have seeped so pervasively into our cultural norms. In The Good Mother Myth, Reddy debunks the flawed lab studies, sloppy research, and straightforward misogyny of researchers from Harry Harlow, who claimed to have discovered love by observing monkeys in his lab, to the famous Dr. Spock, whose bestselling parenting guide included just one (1!) illustration of a father interacting with his child.
This timely and thought-provoking audiobook will make you laugh, cry, and want to scream (sometimes all at once). Blending history of science, cultural criticism, and memoir, The Good Mother Myth pulls back the curtain on the flawed social science behind our contemporary understanding of what makes a good mom.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin's Press.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      November 18, 2024
      Flawed mid-20th-century child development research helped create unrealistic expectations for mothers, according to this incisive treatise. Poet Reddy (The Long Devotion) excoriates British psychiatrist John Bowlby’s 1950s studies on juvenile delinquents and children orphaned by WWII, suggesting his conclusion that the “most important factor in a child’s mental health was the constant care and devotion of their mother” was undermined by the fact that he didn’t collect data on how poverty or other social factors affected the kids. Much of the research implicitly encouraged pushing women out of the workforce after WWII, Reddy argues, describing how generations of researchers have used variations on Mary Ainsworth’s “strange situation” lab setup, in which the psychologist observed how children reacted to their caregivers’ absence, to suggest that sending kids to day care might cause long-term emotional harm. The sharp analysis sheds light on how child development research’s individualistic focus unfairly blamed mothers for children’s outcomes while letting economic inequality and other political factors off the hook, and Reddy’s candid account of struggling with feelings of inadequacy after having kids demonstrates the deleterious effects of the impossible expectations set by such studies (“I cried and raged and cried. I felt terrible, and I felt alone”). It’s a perceptive argument that flimsy science has been used to guilt-trip mothers for decades. Agent: Maggie Cooper, Aevitas Creative Management.

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  • English

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